Title: Rebeccah, pt3
Author: Veronica Williams
Email: xkhoi@iafrica.com
Size: 26K
Rating: PG
Codes: F; J/P
Summary: Voyager finds a wormhole that would lead them directly
to the Alpha Quadrant. They make it through the wormhole but
must suffer casualties.

PART THREE

It was 0800 when Tom went off duty and he was on his way to his
quarters. He was glad to be back on Voyager, now under a new
command. Tuvok served as Voyager's First Officer, while
Captain Ogland Shepard assumed command. Harry was still Chief
of Operations, promoted deservedly to Lieutenant. Tom sighed.
Lieutenant-Commander Joe Carey headed Engineering now.

"I had a very, very good leader, Tom. B'Elanna was a hard
taskmaster, but excessively fair."

Tom was grateful for the understanding shown him by those crew
and close friends who were still assigned to Voyager. They all knew
that he married Kathryn Janeway four weeks after their return and
that she was going to have a baby. He wondered absently if Kathryn
knew how her old crew still loved her so much, always asking about
her and the baby.

The crew - those who had been on Voyager in its Delta Quadrant
years, knew that Chakotay fathered her child; it was something the
two of them couldn't prevent people knowing. He and his parents had
kept the fuss and nine day wonder that Kathryn Janeway married Tom
Paris to a minimum; that she was pregnant they accepted with little
more than a half interested nod. Most Voyager crew knew the true
state of affairs and where Tom had been apprehensive about facing
them when he boarded the vessel seven weeks ago, he found that they
were remarkably clannish. They appeared so totally protective that
it warmed his heart no end.

They had been saddened by B'Elanna and Chakotay's death and knew
that both Tom and the Captain were plunged into deep despair and
mourning. About one thing they were unanimous: Tom was going to
the father of the Captain's baby. They thought of the baby as the
daughter of Tom and Kathryn Paris, regardless of the circumstances.
It was the one thing Tom admired about the old Voyager crew.
Kathryn had led them well, so well that they were still incredibly
loyal to her. It was touching to see their concern for the
Captain's well-being and each week Kathryn contacted him on the
vid-com, he had to tell them how her pregnancy progressed. Some
have even stated that should the Captain be given a new vessel to
command, they would all apply for transfers.

He was glad to be back and glad to be piloting again. Reinstated
as Chief Helmsman, his promotion to Lieutenant-Commander came as
something of a mild surprise. He didn't expect it at all,
considering his demotion now almost a year ago.

He was so preoccupied that he almost walked past his quarters -
deck 4, his old cabin. It was warm inside and he smiled when he
thought how they had become used to the lowered temperatures on
Voyager when they were still traveling in the Delta Quadrant. Then
they were rationed on everything. Now he could replicate himself
ten pepperoni pizzas if he wanted to. It would only come off his
well earned credits he had been building up since joining the crew
again.

He showered first, then had a solitary meal. He was waiting for
Kathryn's weekly call - the last one before Voyager would be
returning to Earth. He looked forward to her calls or messages.
Most of the time she was able to speak to him direct. Now there
was a tiny, yet niggling concern when he thought of their
communications of the last few weeks.

On an inspiration he decided to play every message again, from her
first one. That was the week before they were deep into the
Badlands. They completed that part of their mission first before
traveling to the Norlom Star system.

"Computer, initiate messages Rebeccah Alpha"

Immediately the first picture came up and he looked at Kathryn's
face. She looked healthy, he thought. She was blooming and her
smile lit up her face. She gave him an update on their baby's
progress.

"And Tom, do be careful," she said again, knowing that he would
pilot them through the Badlands. He watched how her face became
a little clouded and thought it was just her concern for his
safety.

"Good luck, Mr Paris," he remembered her words the time he flew
a shuttle away from Voyager when Voyager was under heavy attack
by the Kazon, subsequently taken over and her crew dumped on
an alien planet.

Why would she sound so concerned now when she had no reason to
doubt his ability as a flyer? He played back message after
message. He smiled when Kathryn would show him after a few of
those messages a scan of their baby. He could see the movement,
Rebeccah's heartbeat, even a finger pressed into her little mouth.
His eyes would fill with tears each time she showed him the scans.

But now he noticed the progression of the messages: each time
Kathryn appeared to lose more of her sparkle. Once he had asked
her and she put it down to the normal tiredness and discomfort she
suffered with a first pregnancy.

Then the previous week's message came up. She looked really tired
and there were smudges under her eyes. What was wrong? he thought.
He wished he had been there with her. He could swear it was not
just her tiredness. She had spoken direct then:

"Tom, it's nothing. It's just my back that's aching a little. Your
mother has been very kind to massage my back," she said.

She stood a little away from the screen so that he could see how
far her swollen belly extended. He laughed then when she stuck her
tongue out at him again.

Another week and she'd be eight months pregnant. But listening to
her words of the previous message, he could detect a note of what?
wistfulness? A soft sigh that escaped her?

He felt worried and switched off his computer. He sat in his chair
for long minutes, deep in thought. He got up later and went to the
bedroom's alcove where he stored the gifts the crew had bought for
the baby. He had his own already packed but picked up the bag and
took out the soft toy he picked out in a market on Norlom IV. It
was pinkish in hue, with short stubs for arms and legs. In truth,
it did look like a teddy bear. It's why he was attracted in the
first place.

He started up when the voice of the computer alerted him to an
incoming message. In one fluid movement he was back at his desk
and flipped on the console. Kathryn's face filled the screen and
she gave him a wan smile.

"Hi Tom, it's good to see you," came her greeting. She sounded a
little different too.

"Kathryn, how are you?" he asked, unable to mask his concern. He
didn't care if it showed in his face.

"Baby's thriving and kicking me at the oddest times," she said.
"Like when I'm in class standing in front of cadets. I imagine
they can see how she moves," she added a little morosely.

"How are you, Kathryn?" he asked again. And why those smudges
under your eyes?"

She looked away, then at him again. He saw her lips press together.
<I'm going to get nothing out of her> he thought.

"I told you it's just a little tiredness."

"It's more than that, Kathryn. I can see you don't look too good
right now. Come on, tell me. Please," he added.

Her eyelids fluttered nervously. Something is wrong, he thought.

"I'll be back in a week, Kathryn," he soothed, hoping his words
would offer some comfort. "Now will you tell me what's the matter?"
he prodded again.

"I - I can't sleep, Tom," she said softly.

"Nightmares?" he asked. He was surprised when she shook her head.
"What is it then?" he asked softly, his voice suddenly tender.
Her eyes filled with tears then. He could she how she battled
for control, see how her throat moved. He sensed she wanted to
say something which she felt either afraid or shy to say.

"I - I don't know, Tom... I - forget it. It's nothing - "

"Kathryn! Dammit!" he shouted as she suddenly cut off
communication and the screen went blank.

He sat back and used some colourful twentieth century invectives
to express his frustration. "Damn!" he said eventually again,
then beat his fist against the desk surface. He got up and paced
frantically, thinking about some course of action he could
follow. She would not return his call if he called a hundred
times tonight. He sat down suddenly as a thought struck him, then
switched on the computer again.

Placing a call to Starfleet Headquarters, he was prepared to wait
the evening out until his mother would respond. How had he
forgotten? She was, after all, still working at Starfleet Medical.

He thought again how Kathryn looked just now and felt his heart
contract. In the seven weeks he been away from her, he didn't
think that he could miss her so much already. He felt rotten
about being away the last weeks, not seeing her, not touching
her stomach to feel the baby move or press his ear against
Kathryn's belly and conduct silly conversations with his daughter.

He missed their conversations in the evenings, the regular walks
they took with his arm protectively around her shoulder. He missed
not being with her when she had nightmares and woke up crying in
the night, or when he had nightmares and he would find her bending
over him in concern.

He closed his eyes. Unbelievable as it sounded, as unlikely as it
sounded, he missed her. And perhaps she... no, it couldn't be. He
didn't want to entertain any notion that she could miss him too.

The computer's voice sounded stridently again and he dived to his
console. His mother's face filled the screen and without any
preamble he asked quickly:

"Mom, what's wrong with Kathryn?" Then he continued: "She appeared
distressed about something and she - she's not looking well, Mom."

"Have you finished, Tom?" Elizabeth Paris asked placidly.

"She wouldn't tell me anything - "

"She misses you, Tom," his mother interrupted with a kindly smile.
"She needs *you* here, with her."

"Mom?"  But Tom could see now how her words made sense.

"I've been with her some nights Tom, when I could sense she didn't
want to be alone. She doesn't sleep, did you know that?"

"Yes..." he sighed. When they were in the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn
suffered from chronic headaches and chronic...insomnia... Now,
except for the nightmares, she slept well. But the recent weeks she
regressed to sleeplessness again.

"She's worried about you, Tom," Elizabeth said again.

"Mother! Kathryn is Starfleet born and bred. She knows the risks - "

"I'm aware of that, Tom, and so is Kathryn. Haven't you heard a
word I said? She misses you. She needs you here with her even if
she doesn't voice it quite that way," Elizabeth added, smiling.

"She - she can't, Mom... We - we have nothing - "

"That's what you both think," Elizabeth said softly, her eyes
growing tender at the look on her son's face.

"Mom," he said finally, "tell her I'll be home soon, that I miss
her very much..."  He closed his eyes at that admission at last
coming from him. <I care a great deal about her> he thought, but
he didn't tell his mother these words. Instead: "I can't wait to
get home. Tell her that, please..."

His mother had given him an understanding nod, then closed their
communication. Tom went to his room and lay down on his back on
the bed. When did admiration, respect and liking turn to caring?
he thought with some surprise. <Was it when she clutched at me in
the night crying and I felt hopeless to help? Was it when she
refused to give up and held my hand when I thought the world had
come down on me? When? Was it when I lay with my head pressed
against her stomach and felt Rebeccah kicking? I don't want Kathryn
to be hurt. She misses me, I miss her. What a pair we make> He
turned on his stomach and closed his eyes. That night he dreamed
of Kathryn.

*****

If Tom had any premonitions or sense of foreboding, he would have
known that being summoned to the Captain's ready room spelled
something unpleasant. He was on a good footing with all senior
officers and had no reason to fear any reprimand or dressing
down. In fact, after maneuvering Voyager through the Badlands and
back, he was given a commendation by the Captain. His first. Now
he walked rather unsuspectingly to the ready room and pressed the
chime.

"Come."

Tom strode in briskly as the ready room door opened.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?"

"Commander, sit down," Captain Shepard said as Tom stood in
attention before him.

Seating himself Tom stared at the Captain and wondered what this
was all about. He noticed Captain Shepard looking fixedly at the
monitor in front of him before he looked at Tom again with some
concern in his eyes. Tom immediately straightened up more, fully
alert now.

"Is something the matter, Captain?" he asked, feeling his mouth
suddenly go dry, his tongue sticking to his palate. He felt a hand
grip his heart. Kathryn! Something must be wrong, he thought.

"We'll reach orbit in a hour, Commander. I was asked to delay this
message from Starfleet Medical three hours ago until now."

"Captain, my wife?" Tom asked as he rose from his seat and the
Captain motioned him to sit again.

"Your wife has had an accident, Commander."

"No!"

"Please, Commander, be calm. She was apparently jostled in a crowd
yesterday and she fell." The Captain related the barest details to
a Tom Paris who had grown paler by the minute, his eyes getting a
shattered expression again. He felt his breathing coming in gasps.
He dare not ask, but he had to.

"How - how is she, Captain?"

"She is unconscious, Commander. I am sorry this has happened to
Captain Janeway. She is in good hands, I can tell you that,"
the Captain said in a placatory tone. Tom didn't fail to notice
the Captain referring to Kathryn as Captain Janeway. They had
agreed some time ago that professionally she would be Janeway.

It was a dazed Tom who greeted the Captain before he stumbled
out of the ready room. Shepard looked at Tom's retreating figure
and wondered if he should have told Tom the rest of the message.
He sighed. Perhaps Dr Paris was right. It would have distressed
Tom even more to learn that his wife's condition could cause her
to go into labour sooner than expected.

********

Tom stood in the door of the ward for one second before he rushed
in to Kathryn's side.

"Kathryn, oh God..." he whispered hoarsely as he took in her still
form on the high bed. Tom ignored Doc's presence completely and
embraced Kathryn gently, his hand trembling as he caressed her
cheek. There were tears in his eyes and the Doctor could see he
was distraught. He left the Commander, remembering the last day on
Voyager when Tom Paris screamed his grief as his wife B'Elanna
lay dead in his arms. The Doctor understood the younger man's
pain now.

The EMH had done everything he could for the patient whom he knew
would become conscious soon, especially now that Mr Paris was here.
She had been calling for him incessantly...

"Kathryn..." Tom pleaded as he stroked her hair. She felt feverish.
She was lying on her side, her swollen belly heavy with child.
He called her name softly over and over, willing her to wake up.

An interminable time passed as Tom Paris sat next to his wife and
stroked her hand, talking to her. He told her about the baby, all
the presents the crew gave them, his own presents he bought for them.

"I missed you, Kathryn," he murmured softly, over and over.

***

It was in the early hours of the morning when Kathryn stirred. She
turned her head slowly to the head that rested heavily against her
hand.

"Tom...?"

He moved and opened his eyes at the sound of her voice. He trembled
with relief. He leaned over her and kissed her on the forehead, his
lips lingering there a long time. He felt the tears pressing
through his closed eyelids.

"Oh Kathryn..." he murmured brokenly as he looked at her again.

"I - I missed you, Tom," she said weakly before her eyes filled
with tears. "I missed you," she said again, becoming agitated as
she started to cry.

"Shhh...Kathryn, don't cry please. I'm here now, I won't leave
you..." he assured her as he held her shaking body close to his,
her face hidden in his broad chest. Her hand gripped his tightly as
if she would never let him go.

Tom wiped her tears and talked to her in low tones until the
Doctor cleared his throat.

"She needs her medication, Mr Paris. I'm going to administer a
painkiller to clear her headache, then she'll be fine again. I must
tell you, however, your wife is going nowhere, Mr Paris. I've
ordered bed-rest for her," he said with his old acerbic tones which
dared Kathryn Janeway-Paris to challenge him.

"Right Doc. And I'll be right here to see she stays in bed," Tom
agreed.

"Are you two conspiring against a poor defenseless sick woman?"
Kathryn asked, now more relieved that Tom was by her side.
She turned her face to him and smiled. "I'm glad you're back, Tom,"
she said softly. Tom, looking at her with her eyes wide and blue
couldn't resist this time kissing her on the mouth, feeling
unaccountably the blood rushing to his head as their lips touched.
He pulled away quickly and looked a little embarrassed. Kathryn
looked slightly bemused at the way she responded to Tom's kiss
and her eyelids fluttered nervously. She frowned, wondering strange
things.

***

In the early hours of the following Kathryn Paris went into labour.
Naturally she gave her husband hell, railing at him for being
late and being generally irrational when she berated him. He took
it in good stride, as did the Doctor and attending nurse.

Most of the time though, Tom soothed and told her to breathe,
holding her hand all the time. Then he would wipe brow and try not
to show his extreme concern that their baby was being born
prematurely, praying with her that the baby would be alright.

The pains wracked her slender frame. She had not gained more weight
than what the baby weighed, so she still appeared appallingly
fragile. She would go limp after a long contraction that ripped
through her body, causing her to scream out in pain.

When Tom asked the Doctor to relieve her pain, he got a crushing
glare from her. Weak as she was, she grabbed his jacket front and
pulled him closer.

"I want the pain, Tom. I need to feel I am alive and Rebeccah is
alive," she panted as another contraction started. Tom, close to
tears as the contractions followed in quick succession an hour
later, heard the Doctor instruct her to push. Baby was crowning,
he announced to no one in particular.

With one final contraction and a last heave, Kathryn gave a sigh
as Rebeccah came into the world, squalling almost the second her
skin made contact with the impersonal air around her.

"It's a girl!" Doc announced superfluously. He held the infant in
with infinite tenderness and placed the bay on Kathryn's bosom
while a dazed Tom looked at the baby, then at his wife. Kathryn's
hands covered the baby immediately, her tiny face turned towards
Tom.

"Look, Rebeccah, it's your Daddy," Kathryn said tiredly. Then she
looked at Tom and said: "Meet your daughter Rebeccah, Tom."

Tom leaned over and kissed her again on her mouth. When he came up
again he said: "Thank you, Kathryn, for sharing this wonderful
and precious little life with me..."

The Doctor had taken the baby, shooed Tom out of the room and told
him to come back later in the day. By then Kathryn would be back in
the ward with her baby.

Tom took one last look at Kathryn whose eyes started drooping even
as she looked with longing eyes at her baby. Then he left. He had
a hundred and one things to do before he returned to the hospital.
Like collecting his luggage he left at Headquarters; going home to
take a much needed shower and coming back where he wanted to enjoy
holding his wife and baby.

***

When he returned in the early evening Kathryn was awake and his
mother had just left the ward. He carried an enormous bunch of
roses he begged from Boothby and placed them on the bedside.

"Kathryn..."

"Tom..." she said, her eyes shining. "You can hold her..."

Tom walked to the tiny crib next to the bed and lifted Rebeccah
with the utmost care and tenderness into his arms. The baby was
so tiny she appeared to fit into his large hands.

"She's sleeping," he said, then his eyes went wide as Rebeccah
opened her eyes as if she heard him. The baby looked at him with
wide open eyes as if she understood the world around her. Tom
swallowed with difficulty and his eyes filled with tears he didn't
bother to check as they rolled down his cheeks.

Because when Tom Paris looked at Rebeccah Paris, he stared into
the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

*****

Three months later.

Kathryn stirred lazily, becoming aware immediately that all seemed
too quiet in the apartment. She looked at her chronometer and saw
that it was only 0300 hours. Groaning, she fell back against the
pillows. Did she imagine she heard a noise?

Rising slowly, she put on her robe and padded barefoot through to
Rebeccah's room. Her breasts felt no longer so heavy as she was
slowly weaning the baby off breast milk. She grimaced. She hadn't
liked doing it, but in two weeks Kathryn would be taking command of
her new ship, the USS Salamander with its crew complement of 700.
A family ship that carried passengers into the deepest sectors of
the Alpha Quadrant. Rebeccah would have to be bottle-fed while she
sailed with her mother on the Salamander.

She walked into the nursery  -  the door always stood ajar. At a
quarter illumination it was light enough that she could see Tom
sitting in the rocking chair. He was fast asleep with an equally
fast asleep Rebeccah held protectively against his chest.
His large hands covered her tiny body and she could see Rebeccah's
tiny fingers curled tightly around her Daddy's thumb.

Kathryn smiled tenderly. The way these two bonded it was difficult
to believe that Rebeccah was not Tom's daughter. Yet here they
were, so much father and daughter it brought a great lump to her
throat. She watched them for a few precious minutes before she
gently extricated the baby from Tom's arms and placed her carefully
in her crib again. The baby stirred and made a small sound before
becoming quiet, her thumb going into her mouth as soon as she was
comfortable again. Rebeccah had her beautiful golden hair and blue
eyes like Tom predicted, Kathryn thought. Tom was also the first
person who was graced with Rebeccah's first smile.

"Tom..."  She shook him gently and he woke with a start, smiling
sheepishly when he saw her. Her heart lurch as she saw how blue
his eyes were, exactly like Rebeccah's. People would be forgiven
for thinking that Tom was really Rebeccah's father, she thought
idly as she bent down next to him and took his hand.

"She woke up..."

"Really?"

"Really."

They were both pensive for a while as Tom looked at the sleeping
baby in the crib with his heart in his eyes and Kathryn looked at
him with her heart in her eyes.

Tom looked at her again, his hand coming up to brush a stray hair
from her face, his palm resting against her cheek.

"It has been a difficult year, Kathryn," he said hoarsely.

"You were there for me when I needed you, Tom," she said, her
voice breaking into a soft sob.

"I want to be there always, Kathryn..."

"Yes..."

"Rebeccah... she rescued us, you know? She - she is an important
part of me, of my future..."

"And me? What about me, Tom...?" She beseeched softly.

He looked at her with his blue eyes piercing and direct, unafraid.
His hand brought her head closer so that their mouths were almost
touching.

"When you are ready, Kathryn..."

Kathryn leaned in and kissed him gently on his lips. She felt a wave
of pleasure at the touch, felt Tom pressing closer as his hand cupped
her head. He closed his eyes as he gave in to the pleasure of feeling
her lips on his. It was a brief kiss but she broke away reluctantly
though. Her eyes were soft, smouldering with the fleeting passion
she felt at his touch.

"When I'm ready, Tom," she whispered and he thought he saw there
in her eyes a promise.

*****

End part three