Title: Absumption 5/5
Author: The Emu
Email: emu@zip.com.au
Size: 14K
Rating: R
Codes: Au of 'Timeless', A; J/P
Summary: 'Timeless' could have been worse. Someone might
have survived.

	=/\=

Chakotay found Harry at the end of the hall where they'd
entered, doubled over, gasping to hold back sobs. He felt
Paris pull up beside him.

"Harry, seven people survived-"

"So I only killed 140 people. Yeah, that makes a difference,
Chakotay." He shook his head. "You were with me. All these
years. You can't pull out on me now."

Paris pushed forward to rest a hand on his shoulder. "It's not
so simple, Harry. The last 15 years *did* happen. Nobody
has the right to hit the rewind button when things don't work
out how they'd like. You can't cut the mistakes out of your
life. There's a balance to things."

Harry looked up, ice in his eyes. "That's easy to say when
you don't live with the responsibility."

Tom humphed, more weary than harsh. "Look around you
Harry."

Harry's gaze dropped to the carpet.

"I live with this every day. I live with Kathryn who has turned
self-flagellation into an art form and the shell of the ship I
couldn't land and I have a room set aside for the bodies of the
people that survived who I still couldn't save. But I also live
with a closer family than I've ever known and a son who has
his mother's strength and sometimes I can be the one that
makes Kathryn smile. We fought damned hard for the last
fifteen years, Harry, and you don't have the right to take them
away from us."

Harry looked up again, eyes wet. "Tom, you should
understand, more than anyone. Does a day go by when you
don't wish you could rewrite Caldik Prime?"

It was Tom's turn to stare at the floor, but not for long. He
forced himself to meet Harry's gaze. "There are a lot of days
now when I don't think of Caldik Prime at all."

	=/\=

Chakotay left Harry in Tom's hands and returned to the mess
hall. He'd been dealing with Harry's guilt for too long;
perhaps he needed fresh ears.

The mood had mellowed somewhat after Harry's tantrum.
The Doctor had taken over the kitchen; Harrison and Dalby
were comforting Toby while Callan and Kathryn spoke
quietly at their own corner of the table. Chakotay approached
slowly, until they looked up to see him.

He sat on the other side of Kathryn.

Callan spoke first. "Is Harry alright?"

"He'll be fine.  He's just..."  Chakotay had no idea how to talk
to the boy; he seemed old and childish by turns. "He wants to
make up for sending the wrong coordinates, but he doesn't
know how, anymore."

Kathryn frowned. "We didn't get the second set of
coordinates. The comm signal broke up before he sent them."

Chakotay stared at her, feeling wild laughter echo
somewhere in the back of his mind. He'd followed Harry
through a fifteen year misplaced guilt trip.

Not that this journey had been entirely Harry's. He'd had his
own reasons, just as misplaced. And someone had stood by
him, even as he searched for a way back to the people and
the woman he'd loved. He wondered what Tessa would think,
to meet Kathryn and realise the oh-so-romantic attempt to
change the timeline wasn't going to happen.

He didn't realise he was staring until Kathryn pushed her
chair back. "I... need to check something." She walked out.
None of the others watched her go.

"She needs some space, sometimes."

Chakotay looked at Callan. "Is she always this sad?"

"Mostly." He shrugged. "I try to make her happy. I've made
her laugh, sometimes. No one else can do that." He darted a
look around the room. "She was happy when you knew her,
wasn't she?"

Chakotay smiled. "When we get off this planet you should
take her exploring. The years fall away."

Callan smiled shyly and leaned back, imagining his mother as
an explorer.

The others took it as a sign they were welcome. Harrison
turned a chair and straddled it. "Since when does the
Federation charge people for treason?"

Chakotay had asked himself that question, many times. "The
war with the Dominion did a lot of damage to the Federation,
and it wasn't all physical. Some of the ideals are still there, in
the people, but it's not the same union it was twenty years
ago." He looked around the group, realising how familiar this
graveyard atmosphere was. "Millions died. The entire Alpha
Quadrant is jaded. There's no exploration anymore; the
officers limped home and they're still there, licking their
wounds."

"How long ago did the war end?"

"Technology scavenged from the Delta Flier made all the
difference. A peace treaty was signed almost a decade ago,
but the war didn't so much end as fizzle out. There are still
skirmishes along the borders because neither side has the
resources to enforce the treaty."

Vorik tipped his head from his seat across the table.
"Intriguing."

"What is?"

"After all these years of regret, it turns out that our
experiment saved the Federation. In effect, we were the
casualty of war that made all the difference."

That was a truth Chakotay had always avoided in their little
crusade. If Kathryn had seen the future set out in front of
her, she would have made the same decision. Sacrificed her
ship and happiness to save her precious Federation. Chakotay
would have fought harder to oppose her. He'd let her seduce
him into supporting her that night, and he had his own
baggage of guilt to carry for it.

It hadn't been the shamelessly manipulative romantic dinner;
he'd known that's all that was. It was the self-loathing in her
voice that had undone him. He couldn't refuse her a chance
at peace, no matter how slim that chance might be.

Harrison wasn't so intrigued. "What happens now?"

"I guess you wait for the Federation ship to arrive." He
smiled. "Take you home."

"If we have homes." Harrison looked around for Dalby, who
pulled a chair up to sit beside him, and wrapped a hand
around his shoulders. Harrison leaned in, gratefully. "Ken and
I both come from border colonies. I don't suppose you've
heard much about the systems around the Chorzein sector?"

"Nothing specific. But most of the old Maquis fighting
grounds are a mess. Entire sectors are uninhabitable."

The Doctor folded his arms. "What about yourself and Mr
Kim?"

And that was the big question. They were going to restore
the timeline or die trying. They'd never had a plan C.

Paris walked in, exhausted, but still sized up the room in a
moment. "Where's Kathryn?"

The Doctor shot an unreadable look at Chakotay. "The
generator room, I expect. It's been rather intense in here."

Chakotay ignored him. "Is Harry alright?"

"He doesn't look like he's been alright for a long time." Tom
fell into the seat Callan had abandoned. Chakotay hadn't even
noticed the boy was gone. Tom noticed his frown, and wiped
a hand across his face. "Callan's with Harry now. He's been
keeping Kathryn afloat for years; Harry should be easy."

"She seems..."

"She has good days and bad days. Once the initial disaster
was taken care of she began to shut down. You knew her
well enough to imagine what living here, like this, could do to
her."

Chakotay didn't want to imagine. If he thought at all, he was
amazed she'd coped at all, cut off from hope, from action,
from her stars. And he didn't want to know that Paris had
pulled her through it. "Maybe leaving, she can finally move
on."

"She's here." Kathryn walked in, more steady now. "You said
your time is limited, Chakotay. Perhaps we should get down
to business."

Chakotay gave her a smile, as glad as she was to return to
action. "The ship following us will be the Challenger. Captain
LaForge is a good man; he'll take care of you all, but I think
the Doctor should come with us."

"Why me?"

"Like I told you; the Federation has changed. The time we
spent out here doesn't exactly give us ownership rights over
Voyager. Starfleet impounded the Delta Flier almost as soon
as we arrived, and as far as they're concerned, our taking it
back was theft. I doubt they'll grant you sentient rights as
long as they believe you could be useful to them."

Vorik leaned forward, head cocked. "You will continue to
evade the authorities?"

"We need to get the Doctor out of the way. After that, I
guess Harry, Tessa and I will need to talk."

"Who is Tessa?"

"The voice of reason." He smiled at their blank stares. "She's
a friend. A friend who will be glad you're all okay."

	=/\=
		=/\=
			=/\=

Tom and B'Elanna seemed to be arguing over yet another
holodeck game.

Janeway watched them over her breakfast, observing with a
little more than her usual curiosity. She'd always considered
them a strange couple. They'd acted like teenagers back
when Alzen was running her little scientific experiments, but
at least then there'd been some sort of attraction between
them. Since the effects wore off they'd seemed little more
than distant friends, spending time together out of habit rather
than any real desire for each other's company. B'Elanna's
depression might have gone some way to explain the
distance, but if you didn't turn to your lover in times of need,
what sort of relationship was it?

B'Elanna threw one last well-intentioned insult at her partner
as she picked up her tray. She gave him a nod and a cheeky
smile before heading out. No kiss goodbye, and Tom didn't
expect one. He went happily back to his own meal, not
bothering to watch her leave.

He seemed different, too. Janeway couldn't put her finger on
it, but since he and B'Elanna had been together, the old spark
had been missing. She'd believed it was an awkward personal
problem solved when he found B'Elanna, but somehow it had
only complicated her feelings as she watched the life sucked
from both of them.

And now it was more complicated than ever, as information
she had no right to know teased at her hopes.

"Would you mind some company?"

Janeway's head jerked up; she hadn't noticed Tom's
approach. "No- Have a seat."

He sat, and leaned forward on his elbows. "For a while there,
I really thought we were going to make it." He was trying to
disguise concern with small talk, but he was watching her
closely.

Just as she was watching him. Those eyes had a new
familiarity, and his voice seemed to echo. "Maybe we weren't
supposed to make it. The person who sent the coordinates to
bump us out of the slipstream must have sent them for a
reason."

She had no right to tell him. That future didn't exist, and this
one wasn't hers to change.

	=/\=

She hadn't told Harry about the second message in Seven's
implant, either. A boy had stared up at the screen through
nervous blue eyes set in translucent skin, as though he'd
never seen sunlight. He looked about thirteen, though he
might have been older. Thick clothes hid a wiry frame.

It took only a moment to recognise the interior of the Delta
Flier behind him, but she'd had no idea who he was until he
pushed his fingers through the tousled brown hair and began
to speak.

"My name's Callan."

She would have known that voice anywhere.

"In another lifetime, where a few survived the accident, I'm
your son."

Her son?

He shifted feet, still unsure of what to say. "You didn't want
this but you'll never be happy here. None of you will, so
Harry and I are fixing it." Fingers reached up to touch the
screen. "There's no way you'll know how much I loved you,
but at least this way you'll remember me."

Harry's voice called him, and he glanced nervously offscreen.

"I don't have time for more. I'm not sure if it's right to tell you
who my father is, but you told me once that you liked him
from the first time you met him, even though you were sure
the relationship would never work. It's been fifteen years and
you still watch him and smile when you don't think he's
looking, Mom, so if you know who I'm talking about, it's
worth a try."

"Cal! Now!"

He took a breath. "I love you, even if you'll never know it."
He pressed something to the side of the screen, and dissolved
into static.

===

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-- 
The Emu's Feathers
X-Files and ST:VOY fanfiction
http://www.zip.com.au/~emu/genfic.html